Don’t dwell on what went wrong. Instead, focus on what to do next. Spend your energies on moving forward toward finding the answer.
Recently I decided to make some life changes. I gathered my thoughts and my stamina, and decided to sell my family home of 23 years to move back to the city. It took every ounce of determination and grit to move forward with this overwhelming project. Aside from the years of put off maintenance chores and some rehab, there was the task of purging and sorting 23 years of “life” and “memories”. What do you keep and what do you toss? What makes you a savvy saver of memories versus a hoarder (there were moments I truly questioned this)? Sometimes you discover things maybe you didn’t remember, or did, and buried apparently in the bottom of a box. But you keep going to reach the goal you have set for yourself. Physically and mentally this was a real challenge but in my heart knew it was without a doubt “time” and a realistic dream.
So from the end of January through mid-April, every moment that I wasn’t working my day job, was dedicated to this daunting task and my dream. I put my social life on hold until I got through this, and get through it I did, or so it seemed, after all it is a house and there is ALWAYS something more to do if one looks. One of my friends finally said.. “enough.. it’s ready! I declare it so”.
After an initial almost fiasco with a realtor, I got a new one, signed my papers and put my family home up for sale, without even blinking. Within 36 hours my house had 3 interested parties, 2 offers, and was under contract. Woo-Hoo! All my hard work and perseverance certainly had paid off! I was ecstatic, but cautious nonetheless. Things never go that smoothly for me. Oh there it was.. that nagging.. the waiting for the other shoe to drop thought. I quickly shook it off. The house was bought as is and I got a big fat escrow check. The inspection happened no surprises, no shoe dropping! After a week of letting it sink in, I actually started to ponder looking for a place to live. Eventually I even sallied forth to step foot in them.. the initial disappointments were hard but I got through it. As a few weeks passed, and I had heard nothing on my sale, and the closing date was approaching I did do a little panic dance.. “Where would I go, where would I live.. ?” there was nothing I really wanted out there.. oh, and the appraiser hadn’t been to my home but my realtor said I worry over nothing, go and find a place to live. So I did. I found the condo of my dreams but damn, there was an “offer” out there on it. Damn I had to push on and keep forging ahead with my dream of moving. So for the sake of moving on we put an offer in on that condo anyway and guess what, they countered and ultimately accepted! I must be in a dream because damn, this was all so easy! I highly recommend it to anyone thinking of doing it!
The next day I couldn’t wait to tell my realtor I had found that dream home and asked “could you please find out where the appraiser is!? I don’t want any surprises like the house not appraising out, or if it doesn’t, do I meet the new price” .. “you worry too much.. but because I love you I will call the buyer so you can rest easy”. Great. At 7:00 that night the thud of the shoe came crashing through the phone, “Houston, we have a problem”
This brings me to the point of this whole blog. At what point does our inner voice or a “gut feeling” become “negative thoughts in the universe” or do we listen to them? When we use the word jinx are we actually being negative or cautious or just superstitious? When people say “you have to stay positive things will work out as they should” does that mean I am being negative because I am having a little pity party and extremely disappointed? When one looks at the reality of a situation, does that become negative when the outcomes look bleak. Or do you ignore realities and just move forward with — of course it will work out! Aaahh, perhaps that is the key, to anticipate all the possible outcomes and only go with those that look positive and ignore those that don’t, even if the odds aren’t in your favor, you throw caution to the wind. Anticipation versus negativity. Carley Simon said it so eloquently when she said, “Anticipation is keeping me wa,a,a,aiting”.
Then when I really examine positive thinking, I think of this blog. We wanted one, we envisioned one, and by golly we have a great little blog going! We talk often about taking it bigger, building a bigger following and we proceed ahead with that plan, because why not!? When one of us can’t write or feels the world is crashing down and we aren’t blog worthy, we just push through it and deliver. Take this blog I just wrote.. it has let me vent and lament over a life decision gone awry. It let me get it down and push it away and move forward.. all while keeping our dream of a bigger blog alive. I guess everything really does happen for a reason.
We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we’re curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.