When a child is locked in the bathroom with the water running and he says he’s doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911” Erma Bombeck
So to date I have not talked much about my grandchildren. If you are a grandparent, you know how many funny things they do and say. Ben, my little 6 year old sweetie has said and done some of the funniest things I have ever seen and heard.
I actually don’t remember my son saying as many funny things but I think as a parent you are so busy with life in general that the cute and amazing things they come up with, pass by and you don’t take as much notice. Either that or I was just in another world until grandparenthood took over.
Last Saturday both grandkids spent the night. When Molly woke up first, I was sitting on my bed, across from her room, my husband in the basement watching TV. She opened her door and looked at me, I said “good morning sweetie, do you want to get into bed with Grandma?” she said no and headed downstairs to her favorite grandparent. I don’t know how or why that happened but it has always been that way.
About a half hour later, Ben emerged from his room with his hand over his crotch heading for the bathroom. “Morning Grandma, be right back” and disappeared into the bathroom. When he came out he crawled up on the bed and we watched cartoons before breakfast; at some point my husband came up to use the upstairs bathroom. When he came out, he walked over to the bed and asked “Ben why did you pee all over the seat”? Ben said “Because my pee pee was stiff and I couldn’t push it down”. Then he said very calmly, “I had no control over it”. It took every ounce of my self-control to stifle the hysteria I felt welling up inside. I told Dee about this and because she never had a boy she was quite amazed at the morning stiffie news. She had no idea that little boys experienced erections at that age. When I told her it happens from birth, I had to move the phone from my ear because she was laughing so loudly and I didn’t even tell her the Dixie cup trick.
Anyway, a few hours later, my little Molly girl came up to me and said “Grandma, I need a step stool”. I asked her why but no matter how many ways I asked, she simply said that she needed the step stool. Finally, I got her to be more specific and she said she needed it to go potty. OK, I was wondering how in hell that was going to work so I got out the stool they use to brush their teeth and set it in front of the toilet.
Then I watched.
Well I never.
I also didn’t realize that she was afraid of the toilet hole. She says “don’t fall me in” each time I attempt to help her. She would rather do it herself and now it seems with the added difficulty of the stool to toilet maneuver. My husband actually suggested that we purchase a new toilet seat with a smaller hole for her. He would never make such a suggestion for me….
Two toilet issues in one day. What???
I can only hope that when I am old and feeble, they remember me as being very helpful with their toilet issues because by then, who knows, I may have some of my own.
May your blessings outnumber the Shamrocks that grow and may trouble avoid you wherever you go.